Saturday, June 25, 2011

To cheat or not to cheat???

Today I got up and I’ve lost another pound! I’m so excited things are going in the right direction even if its only a pound or 2 a week! Good morning dilemma today is my cheat day! I have a “cheat day” once a week I still do my normal work out but I eat whatever I want for one day …Tonight we will be getting together with friends having a few drinks, some good food and I face the internal fight I normally do every week! Do I really want to cheat this week I know tomorrow I will wake up and have gained at least a pound in water from all the beer I will drink tonight…is it worth it? Then again I know if I deprive myself Tuesday night at midnight I will be stuffing my face with carbohydrates and chocolate for an unplanned cheat and I wont be able to have a good cheat on Saturday when everyone is wanting me to…………..So the big question is to cheat or not to cheat? I usually look forward to my weigh- in and cheat day every week even though I love eating healthy! I love my fruits and veggies, proteins and whole grains but sometimes it feels good to just eat junk, or work really hard for something you have been craving all week. I rationalize during my work outs “If you just push a little harder then you can have Freebirds and a beer on Saturday” it really does keep this food addict working hard! But on weeks like this when I don’t have any cravings its like as of today I feel like I could go another week with out cheating but, what am I going to feel like tomorrow? Then again there are weeks that I cheat and I gain one pound from it but the next day when I’m back on it I loose 3 lbs by the morning! I haven’t really been able to explain this its happened often the only thing I can think it might be is the sudden change in diet from good to bad right back to good again spikes my metabolism tricking my body ? So maybe cheating is not always a bad thing ???
Decisions..... Decisions?

Friday, June 24, 2011

CQ Boo Hoo?

Ok, so its not Cq anymore now that hubby is a sergeant its staff duty but staff duty doesn’t rhyme with a anything! Now I know some of you are wondering what Cq or staff duty is? Cq is a 24 hour duty that most all Army service members have to pull every once in a while! I feel bad because I should be really missing my hubby while he is working! Most of the time I really do miss him and would be bitching about the army, but tonight I’m kind of enjoying the down time. Again I feel like a horrible person because I’m seeing on face book where my friends husbands are deployed and I know they would give anything to have them home, here I am wanting alone time! While I love my husband sometimes its just nice to have a day where I don’t have to worry about a set schedule like when he will be home for lunch or when I have to get my workout in so I can get dinner cooked etc. etc.…So when the cats away the mouse will play! I didn’t workout till almost 11pm last night I took all day to do the laundry and clean the house I even let Boo stay up she helped me clean and slept with me, we watched bolt and left the TV on all night that would never fly if Daddy were home! J I did miss Hubby as soon as I slowed down enough for my head to hit the pillow it reminded me of the lonely nights of deployment. I will be glad to have him back today ……On another note I have some very exciting news my CAA got approved so I submitted my FA last night and if all goes as planed I should be starting school around July 8th !! I’m so excited to open this new chapter! I know I have A LOT of work to do before I can call myself a “Master Personal Trainer” but what awesome motivation to finish my weight loss journey!

Fiesta Turkey Burgers
What you will need:
I small can of green chilies
1 packet of taco seasen
1 lb of ground turkey
Pepper jack cheese
Red onion and avocodo
Buns or ice burg lettuse ( I prefer to wrap my burgers in lettce)
Drain green chilies then mix together in a bowl chilies, taco season and turkey
Form into burgers cook on the grill or stove …then top with pepper jack, red onion and avocado they are SO simple and SO good gives you all the flavor without all the greasy crap J ! Like I said I prefer to wrap mine in ice burg lettuse but good whole grain bun is just fine ENJOY!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

please don't feed the lonley ( I wrote this blog a while back just found it on my computer it's kinda funny)

Sitting in my living room relaxing after a busy day, both of my angels are asleep! This should be the time of day I look forward to. “Me time“ but that is the problem “me time” is alone time nobody here to share the Ahhh rest moment with …When this house gets quiet is when the loneliness sets in. I try to avoid this feeling as much as possible I’ll tell you why. Loneliness in my world is a “eat” emotion along with a lot of my other emotions but, this particular emotion has scary strong cravings that come with it ..Sadly loneliness is something I can’t really avoid with hubby gone L ..So feeling lonely tonight and the second I start feeling it I have this over powering craving for chocolate ..I mean the type of craving where I want to stick my face in a bucket.. UH NO WAIT! the kind of craving where I want to stick my BODY in a tub of chocolate and drink it through my pores! What do you do with yourself when this kind of thing comes over you! How sad that food or any object for that matter can be so powerful! I realize while feeling this sad feeling FOOD is an addiction a terrible one! This leaves me wondering why I can’t be one of those people that CAN’T eat when they are upset God knows as a Army wife I would be a size 00 by now! Better yet why can’t I just eat whatever I want and stay thin? For whatever reason that’s just not how my body works! Just like any addiction I have to exercise will power and that’s exactly what I do! I made myself a cup of coffee and rationalized with myself, I really thought things through, I mean did I really want to un-due my whole day and cancel out a wonderful workout for a tiny moment of self-gratification? I also thought about the goals I have set and why I want to reach them! So I decided if I gave in and ate that chocolate the food wins and I could not let the food win ! Me 1 food 0! On a amazing note today I weighed myself I’m 150lbs 3 lbs down 20 to go J

Baby steps in the right direction!

  I’m Back!! I took a tiny break (ok like 6 months) but I’m back! So much has happened, hubby is home from Afghanistan! I knew what to expect I have done this before it still doesn’t make it any easier the 1st month together is sweet like ice-cream (literally I gained 5lbs another story) but then reality sets in it starts with little things. I wake up early Thursday mornings to take out the trash after about a month of doing this hubby expresses the need to take over this task along with a few others and I reluctantly relinquished my title as daddy and let him take over some of my burden. Last week right before boogies 1st birthday I woke up a little later then usual making my coffee at the window thinking about the errands I need to run to prepare for big first birthday weekend, I’m blankly watching the trash truck coming around the culdesac when I realize he doesn’t stop at our house that our trash is not out so I spill my coffee and run outside trying to catch him before he goes… epic fail!! I’m enraged this is not the 1st time hubby has not forgotten to take out the trash a responsibility he wanted to take over and now we have a full stinky trash can for an outside birthday luau! I was sooo mad what’s the logical thing to do here…yea I didn’t do it I went the opposite of logical and called my working husband in an enraged bitch fit I’m sure my neighbors could hear! We fought it out and worked it out but the fact is we are facing something that’s bigger then us something that makes military relationships fail after deployments all the time! You see my husband has been gone on and off for 4 years his deployment time comes to over 2 years! I had no choice but to become independent doing things that mommy and daddy both do! Hubby on the other hand has been in a war zone and I’m not even going to try to understand what he was going through! All in all 2 different worlds and when they come together again its hard he feels like he should take over the man work but at the same time he feels out of place life has gone on with out him….and I feel like my toes are being stepped on, my schedule is being interrupted and this man is coming in and changing everything from how the kids are disciplined to the way my uh I mean our living room is rearranged the truth is absents does make the heart fonder but it does other things too we have both gotten so used to using words like Me and my instead of words like us and ours! So after I few larger blow outs and some smaller ones we decide communication is limited he is on the am frequency and I am on fm ! We came up with a plan 1st we are getting God back in our marriage we haven’t been to church in forever next we are reading The 5 love languages together a chapter a night before we go to bed in attempt to better understand each other marriage is hard enough without spending half of it apart this is the life we have chosen and we are not willing to let each other go so we are working on it BABY STEPS IN MY MARRIGE…..Again hubby is home he has been starving in Afghanistan well apparently because all he wants is FOOD (well he wants other stuff too but ill spare you the details ;) ) Since January it has been restaurants, his favorite fried food, Cookies and cakes ..DQ at midnight I was 144 when he came home with in 2 weeks I was 148! I would get dedicated again only to fail shortly after at a bbq or block party or really anywhere the siren call of food is soo strong! About 2 weeks ago I made up my mind boogie was about to be a year old and its time to finish! I’m on it hot and heavy I am now 141lbs and about 10lbs away from my goal! I have decided that I enjoy fitness and helping others become healthy has become a true passion something I look forward to, so as soon as my CAA( a $4,000 grant given to military spouses) comes through I will be starting school to become a master personal trainer! It will be a 15 month journey but I am so excited about helping others give the food addiction the boot and introducing them to an exercise that they truly enjoy (lets hope I keep this passion when I’m neck deep in school work)BABY STEPS IN MY LIFE! So the 20th boogie turned a year old amazing how time flies! She has been expressing some interest in walking but not much yesterday she walked right into the arms of my neighbor it hurt my feelings a little she wont walk for me or to me L but none the less it was BABY STEPS FOR MY BABY!