Thursday, June 23, 2011
Baby steps in the right direction!
I’m Back!! I took a tiny break (ok like 6 months) but I’m back! So much has happened, hubby is home from Afghanistan! I knew what to expect I have done this before it still doesn’t make it any easier the 1st month together is sweet like ice-cream (literally I gained 5lbs another story) but then reality sets in it starts with little things. I wake up early Thursday mornings to take out the trash after about a month of doing this hubby expresses the need to take over this task along with a few others and I reluctantly relinquished my title as daddy and let him take over some of my burden. Last week right before boogies 1st birthday I woke up a little later then usual making my coffee at the window thinking about the errands I need to run to prepare for big first birthday weekend, I’m blankly watching the trash truck coming around the culdesac when I realize he doesn’t stop at our house that our trash is not out so I spill my coffee and run outside trying to catch him before he goes… epic fail!! I’m enraged this is not the 1st time hubby has not forgotten to take out the trash a responsibility he wanted to take over and now we have a full stinky trash can for an outside birthday luau! I was sooo mad what’s the logical thing to do here…yea I didn’t do it I went the opposite of logical and called my working husband in an enraged bitch fit I’m sure my neighbors could hear! We fought it out and worked it out but the fact is we are facing something that’s bigger then us something that makes military relationships fail after deployments all the time! You see my husband has been gone on and off for 4 years his deployment time comes to over 2 years! I had no choice but to become independent doing things that mommy and daddy both do! Hubby on the other hand has been in a war zone and I’m not even going to try to understand what he was going through! All in all 2 different worlds and when they come together again its hard he feels like he should take over the man work but at the same time he feels out of place life has gone on with out him….and I feel like my toes are being stepped on, my schedule is being interrupted and this man is coming in and changing everything from how the kids are disciplined to the way my uh I mean our living room is rearranged the truth is absents does make the heart fonder but it does other things too we have both gotten so used to using words like Me and my instead of words like us and ours! So after I few larger blow outs and some smaller ones we decide communication is limited he is on the am frequency and I am on fm ! We came up with a plan 1st we are getting God back in our marriage we haven’t been to church in forever next we are reading The 5 love languages together a chapter a night before we go to bed in attempt to better understand each other marriage is hard enough without spending half of it apart this is the life we have chosen and we are not willing to let each other go so we are working on it BABY STEPS IN MY MARRIGE…..Again hubby is home he has been starving in Afghanistan well apparently because all he wants is FOOD (well he wants other stuff too but ill spare you the details ;) ) Since January it has been restaurants, his favorite fried food, Cookies and cakes ..DQ at midnight I was 144 when he came home with in 2 weeks I was 148! I would get dedicated again only to fail shortly after at a bbq or block party or really anywhere the siren call of food is soo strong! About 2 weeks ago I made up my mind boogie was about to be a year old and its time to finish! I’m on it hot and heavy I am now 141lbs and about 10lbs away from my goal! I have decided that I enjoy fitness and helping others become healthy has become a true passion something I look forward to, so as soon as my CAA( a $4,000 grant given to military spouses) comes through I will be starting school to become a master personal trainer! It will be a 15 month journey but I am so excited about helping others give the food addiction the boot and introducing them to an exercise that they truly enjoy (lets hope I keep this passion when I’m neck deep in school work)BABY STEPS IN MY LIFE! So the 20th boogie turned a year old amazing how time flies! She has been expressing some interest in walking but not much yesterday she walked right into the arms of my neighbor it hurt my feelings a little she wont walk for me or to me L but none the less it was BABY STEPS FOR MY BABY!